Thank you for reading the thoughts and ideas that have become important to me. In no way do I pretend to be the epitome of zen and harmony. The intention is to share stepping stones that have proved helpful to me.
One of my Jiu Jitsu mates invited my wife and I to his wedding in Balclutha. Multiple streams of work had been quite demanding physically and mentally for the last 2 months so the opportunity for my wife Brenda and I to have some relaxed time together was welcome. As we travelled, I noticed how friendly everyone seemed to be in the South Island of New Zealand. The entire place seemed relaxed in fact. I was prompted to think about an earlier article I had written on mindset. I realised I was seeing what I was focussing upon.
In my classes I share the principle of the Reticular Activation System (RAS). We cannot absorb all the information around us at once. We need to focus on specific things, this is called attention. We see the detail in that which we focus. We condition our brains to focus on key topics.
For some years the home screen on my laptop was a black Ford Ranger. I now own a Ford Ranger. When I was eventually able to consider buying a Ford Ranger, I saw Ford Rangers wherever I drove. When teaching this concept (RAS) in my classes I ask the class to take 15 seconds and look around the room and see how many people they can see who are wearing blue. I allow some time to pass. The class participants mouth quiet counting. I give them the 15 seconds then ask how many people were wearing red clothing! The class smiles realising the trick I have played and begin to look again. They had only seen blue clothing.
This is the Reticular Activation System. You see what you focus on. It is important to remember you will see what you focus on outside of yourself and inside of yourself.
While having a weekend break with my lovely wife I see her relaxed, patient and happy. I feel relaxed patient and without a list of ‘must do’ items. This allows me to transition to be more people focussed rather than task focussed. Consequently, I see friendly relaxed and helpful people in the South Island.
While at a café I noticed my phone was getting low on power. I saw a power point close to our table. It only took a moment, but I chose to ask the café owner if I may charge my phone. She smiled and said, “It is so nice to be asked”. See what I mean! Friendly people in the South Island.
We are still getting things done albeit from a very flexible and enjoyable list of items. It does not take much to find friendly people.
You see what you focus on.