The journey to mental health was sustained by a deep motivation. A drive from deep within my gut. The side effects of numerous medications and the reliance on drugs for a normality that allowed me to work was no longer enough. I wanted to feel everything. I wanted excitement and the capacity to manage disappointment and stress without medicinal support. Clearly, I am not medical practitioner, so I needed help with this objective. I sought advice and support from my doctor for a plan to manage the withdrawal.
This was not an easy journey. There was a deep determination. This determination did not arrive in a sudden flash of light and realisation. It was the result of a burning question. Where did depression end and my character begin. Where was ‘I’ in this equation. I wanted to find me.
As I had become an expert at depression, note I said, ‘at’ not on. I was good at getting depressed. Really good! I decided to study depression and learn about paths to health I could embrace and utilise.
The more I studied, read and considered the options the more the idea of mental health became a determination that grew to a passion.
Brendon Burchard in his book High Performance Habits makes the following statement.
“If I’ve learned anything from my research and a decade of interventions developing high performers, it’s that you cannot become extraordinary without a sense that it’s absolutely necessary to excel. You must get more emotionally committed to what you are doing and reach that point where success (or whatever outcome you’re after) is not just an occasional preference but a soul-deep necessity.”
Burchard’s research determined that high performers transform a goal from an idea to a deep necessity.
How do high performers do that?
They develop their, ‘Why’, their reason for doing into clear intention. This intention becomes a necessity. The necessity is a combination of internal and external forces.
The internal forces
- Self-Identity
A clear image of self in the desired state. An image that is not merely a snapshot but a passionate visualization of self in a new state. I liken it to one of those dreams from which you awake thinking, ‘Wow that was so real’. There is another great book on this topic called The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom which is a self-help book by bestselling author Don Miguel Ruiz with Janet Mills. The book offers a code of conduct based on ancient Toltec wisdom that advocates freedom from self-limiting beliefs that may cause suffering and limitation in a person’s life.
- Obsession with the topic
If you are going to do something you may as well do it well. To do something well why not learn all you can on the topic. Become an expert
- Personal standards.
Develop your own clear standards and seek congruency with what comes out of your mouth. During my study of leadership for the classes I teach the principle of congruency constantly arises. We know if someone is speaking from a principled self-held belief rather than the regurgitated platitudes of a mission statement.
The external forces
- A social duty
An opportunity to give service in some way. We can give service by setting a great example for our kids and family. We can help in the community. We can support our colleagues. We can give to our community.
- Obligation
High performers feel an obligation to perform and to do well for themselves, for the beloved, for their children, for the place of work and, for their community.
- Urgency of deadlines.
High performers understand the commitment of deadlines because the can be relied upon. Reliability is an important part of their psyche.
“As with all high-performance habits, you have to be deliberate about raising your level of necessity. You must consistently think it through: “Have I associated the important activities of my day with my identity and my sense of obligation? Why is chasing this dream so important to me? Why must I do this? When must I do it? How can I get around more amazing people who up my game and help me serve at the next level?” These questions, frequently revisited, can be the prompts for an entirely new level of commitment and drive. You are only as strong and extraordinary as you give yourself reason to be. So determine your musts, my friend. Make them real. Feel them in your gut.” – Brendon Burchard
Ask yourself, ‘Are my primary goals a preference for improvement or a deep emotional necessity?’