How to be a better leader and manager -

Five years of teaching leadership courses soon taught me a few key points.

You cannot teach what you are not!
You have internal conflict if how you are at home is not how you are at work.

Early in my career I worked for AMP selling Insurance and Mortgages. While at AMP my Sales Manager joked about a maxim from the world of sales

Home is where you go to when you are sick of being nice to people

Anonymous

How to be better at home

This statement stuck with me. While painful to admit I saw it become a reality on a couple of occasions. While closing off an evening appointment with my wedding smile and as much congeniality as I could muster I would arrive home tired and hungry. I had used up all my words for the day. what was left was a sometimes tired and sullen man glued to the TV while eating his dinner.

This was not congruent with the affable and careful individual I had been during the day. Nothing was too much trouble for my clients. There is careful listening and attention to detail. This is not what my wife and family received on some occasions.

This duality was in the back of my mind as I taught leadership. Day one began with delivering the concept of being CEO of ‘you’ LTD. My encouragement was to consider the concepts we covered as opportunities for self improvement. To consider the use of the management tools at home. The admonition was for congruence. To move to be the best version of yourself at home and then take that version to work.

What I learned from discussions with participants in the leadership training was the consideration that leadership and management techniques were things you used at work. Not tools that could be used at home.

This realization changed the emphasis of my training. My focus was to deliver as much personal growth content as possible. I wanted the participants in my course to be able to go home and say, “guess what I learned today?” My intent was to provide leadership and management tools for home use.

Emotional Intelligence at home

There is a section of the course where goals and objectives are discussed. It includes a section on Leadership and Emotional intelligence.

The basic definition of emotional intelligence is to be able to recognize and manage your own emotions and those of the people you are interacting with. It extends to adapting conversations to the needs of the other person.

This is not a hazard jacket to take of the hook as you leave the house. If we practice emotional intelligence at home what is the result. Greater understanding and care. This leads to a greater likelihood that you will be happier at work. Science tells us that if we are happy all the creativity centers of the brain light up. As a result staff are 31% more productive, 37% better at sales and doctors are 19% better at diagnosis that when unhappy or stressed.

Its worth taking home.

Good listening at home

Great communication involves good listening. To listen we need to understand.

Seek first to understand before being understood.

Stephen R Covey

We discuss cultural diversity in the leadership course. My opinion is the greatest challenge is language. It is ensuring our instructions are understood and any problems are raised.

don’t tell people so clearly they understand. Tell them so clearly they cannot misunderstand.

Stephen R Covey

In our home environment we have many opportunities to practice great communication. To demonstrate and hone our skills to listen and express our intent and ideas. As stated, if we communicate well we are more likely to be happy and if we are happier at work then a lot of good stuff can happen.

How to set good objectives

The good old acronym SMART has been around for many years. It is represented in the topic of setting objectives as ensuring our objectives are;

Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time bound.

There is nothing new in this topic but do we take it home? Is it truly part of how we think and behave? Ideally we are now practicing emotional intelligence to support great listening and communication so we can set great family goals.

This is a lot of great management stuff and we have not left for work. When it does come time for work we are not carrying the burden of a different persona. We are teaching what we are.